Sunday, January 8, 2012

3.5 years of learning. Chapter 1- The science of offensive behavior.

Alright, so here I am blogging after 3.5 years! Last time when I blogged, I was in the final year of my MBA course. I don't know if it's my memory or it's a natural way our brain records fine details of a particular moment, but I seem to remember what state of my mind was emotionally, what aspirations I had, and what other expectations I had from the future, all at the time of my last blog.
Okay, coming to what I actually wanted to talk about is what I have learned about human behavior all this while. I am no psychology major but I have observed and continue to observe and have realized that behind every offensive "attitude", there are always some reasons. So, if you meet such people who offend/belittle/are rude to you without any reasons, it means you are definitely doing something better than them . Sure, it feels bad when someone does that to you and you are too taken aback to give a cutting reply. There is no reason to self-doubt or regret not answering back. It's absolutely normal for the people who are happy with themselves. The answering-back thing comes with a little pratice.
It is important to remember that human brain is not wired to be offensive without any reason. If someone is offensive, it is in fact defense. Defense against his/her own insecurity. The intrinsic need to tell him/herself that he/she is superior to the person that offense is inflicted on.
So never mind if certain people are not good to you because you are the one who actually makes them nervous with something good which you have and they do not.
Then you would also encounter some people who would make fun of you. Especially when there are other people around. This species is the one that need reassurance by other people. When they pull a joke on a person and make others laugh, they very well know that they are being offensive to the "victim". But that was never their purpose. Their purpose was to feel appreciated and acknowledged. This need arises when the person is insecure about some aspect of his personality so she/he uses a 'victim' to make him/herself feel good.
So when you are the victim, either you laugh out because you genuinely think it was funny. But it was kind of mean and not making much sense, you think of a come-back reply.
But remember always, the problem lies in the person who is offensive!

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lovely blog! I agree with your observations. Those people really need help.

Walahi said...

Good one..It's true.. I have been like this and this was the reason absolutely. And I am not very proud of the way I was. Good job.
The only ones disagreeing would be the offenders ;-)

Unknown said...

Thanks Walahi for your feedback ;-)

kuldeep singh chouhan said...

Really nice one... I agree with you, you right said, some people are behavior is not good.

Trupti Vabale said...

lovely :):)

Unknown said...

Thank you Trupti :)

Animation said...

Really gud ....... :)

Animation said...

Really gud like it

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Unknown said...

@Animation- Thank you so much :)

abhijeet dhuri said...

Nice blog !!, i'm agree with your observations. Good work, keep going .

abhijeet dhuri said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
abhijeet dhuri said...

Nice blog!!, I'm agree with your observations. Good work, keep going!

Anonymous said...

Great blog. You will make it big one day. keep going..

Unknown said...

Thanks a lot!! You made my day :D

Anonymous said...

deffo agree with you! well done

Rajat Baid said...

pretty flawless analysis.....must say didnt expected such a deep dive into human nature frm a cherry girl lik u....

anish ghosh said...

Nice blog. Can't wait to see what you come up with next.

The second practice is so common at work-place. There are people who pull jokes about their peers, esp. in front of their manager. They suffer from a desperate need of reassurance from their managers.

I have had my shares on both ends of the table.

Pankaj said...

Well said. I feel one of the best approaches when some one pulls a joke on you or make fun of you is not to go defensive and just smile, nod and let it go. Its tough at times but I guess it takes lots of patience and practice. You don't have control on other people, situation or the environment we are in often. You can only have control on yourself and hence can resist the temptation to react to any such thing and thus not waste your precious energy... :)